This here's a song about the things you don't find in nature 
This here's a tale about conditions of the head 
At one time I wanted to expand my education but 
Now I'll make more money if I dye my hair instead. 

'Cause I've gotta be more punk, and forget about writing love songs 
And even though I'm a middle class white Canadian 
God knows I've been done wrong 
'Cause I'm a fake punk! I'm a fake punk! 
I'll even use a dirty word, I'll even write a mean song, 
I'll even take a mean picture 
'Cause I've got the hair for it! 

I've always tried to dig myself out of the sewer 
I've always strived to be a little bit more well-read 
But oh no! Here comes that rock press interviewer so, 
I'll just look real tough and say fuck a lot instead 

I'd be alright if I could just hang out with my girlfriend 
I'd be just fine if they would close down all the bars 
And maybe one day I'll join a protest against smoking 
But when it comes to sincere angst you can just 
Leave me the fuck alone!