Have you met my friend Henry?
Have you met my friend Sam?
One's long and lean, one's short and mean
Known quite well throughout this land

Have you heard my friend Henry?
Have you heard my friend Sam?
One's low and barks, one's quick and sharp
Known quite well throughout this land

I'd be dead if not for Henry
I'd be dead if not for Sam
They've spoke with those who've stood opposed
To the way I deal, the way I am

Grown to dislike my friend Henry
Grown to despisе my friend Sam
Too many times I've lost my mind
Fеlt them in my trembling hands