One, two, three, four
Yeah

I don't wanna be your doormat
I don't wanna be
No plastic blow-up doll
I don't want to be like my Aunt Lucy
I am so disgusted with it all

Yeah, love is a scam
And I don't really give a damn
oh, yeah, love is a scam

I don't wanna clip your toenails
I don't wanna smell your stinkin' funky feet
I'm so sick of falling in the
Fill up the alabaster sink

Yeah, oh, yeah, love is a scam
And I don't really give a damn
oh, yeah, love is a scam