If I had just one wish, I'd feed the starving children,
With something bland at first like rice, so they can hold it down
Soon they'd develop a tolerance
For western culture
And they'd be demanding happy meals
with gender appropriate toys

But if you give a man a fish, he eats for just one day,
But if you teach that man to fish, he eats for a lifetime

But fishing is just a metaphor; there are many ways to find food:
Like farming, and hunting, that's it!
Hunting...

Arm the children,
Give them guns

Believe me; they'll eat one way or another

In africa they could shoot gazelles
In chicago they could rob a 7/11 for a microwave burrito,
And let's be honest, stolen burrito just tastes better
Than the kind you buy with cash; those are for suckers...

If I had a second wish I'd take all the animals off
the endangered species list
So we could eat them
I know it sounds insane, but hear me out:
A chicken's not endangered and neither is a cow,
Coincidence? perhaps?
But I don't think so
If a 'whopper' was made with whale meat,
we'd be growing them for food

If we change the way we order at our favourite restaurants
"I'll have a manatee supreme
and a hooters hot spotted-owl wings"

Arm the children, eat the whales
It's the only way mankind will survive

Would you rather feel like the french and live on snails?
I don't mean to be dramatic but
I'll rather gauge my eyes out with a spoon

I have a third wish; nuke the french,
With their hairy backs and five-o-clock shadow
and those are just the women
They never bathe or wash their filthy hair
Let's arm those hungry, pissed off kids and send them there

La la la la

Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the french

Everybody sing
La la la la
Oh yeah

Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the french

(help us treat the little babies?)

La la la la
Oh you, oh you've got to
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the french

Kill the french,
Kill the french,
Kill the french

La la la la

They've been begging for it

Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the french
Nuke the french

The french
Nuke the french

French