Brian Haner
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Blow-Up Doll

Brian Haner


I'd give her a ten if I had to rate her
When I saw her downtown – mm, I wanted to date her
When I finally got her home, I couldn't wait to inflate her

I bought her a wig and I named her Chantel
She was a girl for me, I could just tell
cause when I put my lips on her valve she even had that new car-smell

She gets low and she's starting to slump,
She don't need Xanax, just a bicycle pump

She never goes flat, she always stays in great shape
Don't need a plastic surgeon, just a roll of duct tape

She likes to play rough so sometimes I push her down – yes I do
But she bounches back up and makes the cutest little squeaky sound
One time I popped her and she just went round and round

I took her on vacation – oh Lord, it was nice
I joined the Mile High Club with my flotation device

Wearing my Ray-Bans and looking so cool
Sippin' on a Mai Tai, floating on her in the pool

She never complains, cause she ain't a whiner
Man, I've seen a lot of girls, there ain't nobody finer
(She's got a tattoo right by her cooch, it says Made in China)

When it comes to my world, man she can rock it
and when we're done she fits in my back pocket

Funny thing is, my wife loves her too
cause it's one less thing that she has to do!

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