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    Well I love New York like everyone
    And I go to Las Vegas to Chill
    I like Denver Colorado cause it's so laid back
    And Chicago keeps it real
    I only leave Dallas when I have to, but
    When I do I like Tulsa, OK
    And I ain't got nothing against California
    But I can't stand LA

    Well Orlando Florida is humid but it's swell
    Austin and Nashville both freakin' rock (yes they do! )
    And New Orleans is evil but it's part of the appeal
    You can gamble drink and swear until you drop
    The state of Ohio's been great to our band
    Along with Phili and Green Bay
    I got nothing but love for Hollywood
    But I can't stand LA

    I like Salt Lake City, Portland, Frisco, Santa Fe
    Indianappolis and Hartford, too
    Boise, Memphis, Souix Falls, and of course KC
    Along with Pittsburg and Kalamazoo
    Atlanta is our home away from home and here's a shout out to Sauget
    And I wish my friends would leave that place
    'Cause I can't stand LA

    Traffic Sucks
    No protected lefts
    Snooty fucks
    Pollution fills the air
    Gang Fights
    $7 beers
    And the threat of breaking off into the sea

    (And now to give LA the benefit of the doubt)
    Jimmy Kimmel In and Out and great sushi
    And diversity everywhere
    Really hot chicks wearing next to nothing
    And the Santa Monica Pier
    Thank you for hair metal and the 84 olympics and for the BFS radio play
    But please don't take this personally
    No I'm happy to visit, but I'm happier to leave
    And I guess what it is I'm trying to say is
    I can't stand LA!

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