Well I love New York like everyone And I go to Las Vegas to Chill I like Denver Colorado cause it's so laid back And Chicago keeps it real I only leave Dallas when I have to, but When I do I like Tulsa, OK And I ain't got nothing against California But I can't stand LA
Well Orlando Florida is humid but it's swell Austin and Nashville both freakin' rock (yes they do! ) And New Orleans is evil but it's part of the appeal You can gamble drink and swear until you drop The state of Ohio's been great to our band Along with Phili and Green Bay I got nothing but love for Hollywood But I can't stand LA
I like Salt Lake City, Portland, Frisco, Santa Fe Indianappolis and Hartford, too Boise, Memphis, Souix Falls, and of course KC Along with Pittsburg and Kalamazoo Atlanta is our home away from home and here's a shout out to Sauget And I wish my friends would leave that place 'Cause I can't stand LA
Traffic Sucks No protected lefts Snooty fucks Pollution fills the air Gang Fights $7 beers And the threat of breaking off into the sea
(And now to give LA the benefit of the doubt) Jimmy Kimmel In and Out and great sushi And diversity everywhere Really hot chicks wearing next to nothing And the Santa Monica Pier Thank you for hair metal and the 84 olympics and for the BFS radio play But please don't take this personally No I'm happy to visit, but I'm happier to leave And I guess what it is I'm trying to say is I can't stand LA!