Bo Burnham
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Can't Handle This

Bo Burnham


Can I say my shit?
(*Name of Town*) Can I say my shit?
I've got lots of shit to say
I've got lots of shit to say
I can't fit my hand inside a
pringle can
I have a huge amount of trouble
Fitting my hand inside a pringle can
I can get my hand like four inches in
But then I have to tilt the can into my
mouth
But then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated
at the bottom of the can
So they all go spilling onto my face
What I'm trying to say is that the diameter
Of pringle cans are way too small
I'll say it again
The diameter of a pringle can is way too small
Two raidiuses of a pringle can is way too small
If you feel me, put your hands up
Come on!
If you feel me, put your hands up
Look at all these hands that are way too big to
fit inside a pringle can
Those hands are too big to fit inside
a pringle can
Your hands are too big to fit inside
a pringle can
You think you can, I know you can
Pringles!
Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent
of the complaint letters you get
Are about the fucking width of your cans
We're not animals
Okay, I've overdone the pringles thing
Sorry
I want to have a daughter
I want to have a daughter
So I can finally have someone around
the house
who can fit their hands into pringle cans
Yes, I'm still on the pringle cans thing!
I will move on, alright?
But that is priority numbero uno
I don't go to the gym
Because I'm self concious about my body
But I'm self concious about my body because
I don't go to the gym
Isn't that- that's irony
Irony can be painful
Alright, let's do this
Let's do this!
I went to Chipotle
I went to Chipotle
And I got myself a chicken burrito
I went down the line, and I got all these
ingredients
And at the end of the line
The guy tried to wrap the burrito
But half of the shit inside
the burrito spilled out
I was like, dude you should have warned me!
You're a burrito expert
You should have told me halfway through!
Hey, man. You might be reaching
maximum burrito capacity here
Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito?
No one wants a messy burrito
The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of
the ingredients are contained
Within the confines of the tortilla
I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if
I knew it wasn't gonna fit inside it! Alright?
I wouldn't of got the lettuce
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the cheese
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the peppers
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't have got
Half of it
I'm okay with small mistakes
If you've got no more chicken, I'll take pork
But I'll blow my dad before
I eat a burrito with a fork
I wouldn't of got the lettuce
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the cheese
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the peppers
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't have got half of it right
Half of it right
Half of it right
Half of it right now
I think it's time
I Think it's time
I think we'll break it down

Put the lotion in the basket
No, they're too young
I can sit here and pretend
Like my biggest problems are
Pringle cans
And burritos
But the truth is, my biggest problem is you
I want to please you
But I want to stay true to myself
I want to give you the night out that you deserve
But I want to say what I think
And not care what you think about it
Part of me loves you
Part of me hates you
Part of me needs you
Part of me fears you
And I don't think that I can handle this right now
I don't think that I can handle this right now
I don't think that I can handle this right now

I don't think that I can handle this right now. [x2]
They don't even know the half of this right now
Look at them, they're just staring at me
Like come and watch the Skinny kid with a
Steadily declining mental health
And laugh as he attempts to give you what
he cannot give himself

I don't think that I can handle this right now. [x2]
They don't even know the half of this right now
They don't even know the half of it
But I know I'm not a doctor
I'm a pussy who puts on a silly show
So I should probably just shut up
And do my job
So here I go

I wouldn't of got the lettuce
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the cheese
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the peppers
if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got half
You can tell them anything if
You just make it funny
Make it rhyme
If they still don't understand you
Then you
Run it one more time

I don't think that I can handle this right now. [x2]
If you think that I can handle this right now
Then you don't even know the half of this right now
Right now
Now
Handle this right
Handle this right
Handle this right now

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