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    Colin Zeal knows the value of mass appeal
    He's a pedestrian walker, he's a civil talker
    He's an affable man with a plausible plan
    Keeps his eye on the news, keeps his future in hand

    And then he...

    Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
    Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
    He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
    He's so pleased with himself, ah ha

    While sitting in traffic, Colin thinks in automatic
    He's an immaculate dresser, he's your common aggressor
    He's a modern retard with a love of bombast
    Keeps his eye on the news, doesn't dwells on the past

    And then he...

    Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
    Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
    He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
    He's so pleased with himself, ah ha
    He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
    He's so pleased with himself, ah ha

    And then he...

    Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
    Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again
    He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
    He's so pleased with himself, ah ha
    He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
    He's so pleased with himself, ah ha
    He's pleased with himself, he's pleased with himself
    He's so pleased with himself, ah ha
    He's pleased with himself, he's so pleased with himself
    He's so pleased with himself, ah ha


    He's a modern retard, he's terminal lard
    He's an affable man, with a carrotene tan
    Because Colin Zeal's ill
    Colin Zeal's ill
    Colin Zeal's ill)

    'Cos Colin Zeal knows

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