Sweet little Mary Ann Ann big country music fan
Plays a Roy Clark record with a hot guitar lick
While I flip her on the earlobe with a Chet Atkins pick
She starts a comin' on strong she says that turns her on

Whatever turns you on
(Lovin' love and stormy weather)
What ever turns you on
(June is better)
No need to be ashamed of yourself
Just as long as you ain't hurtin' nobody else
Don't let 'em steer you wrong do whatever turns you on

This nutty guy named Hub Hub he joined the Alaskan Club
Old Hub is a guy who can not take a dare
He wrestled the lady Eskimo and made love to a bear
Way up there north of Nome I guess that's what turned him on

And this squirrely girl friend of mine keeps at me all the time
To take her out in my old pickup truck
And kiss her on the tummy while I quack like a duck
(Quack quack)
I think I 'm quackin' up what ever turns you on

Whatever turns you on
(Olives pickles and fig newtons)
What ever turns you on
(You're dern tootin')
No need to be ashamed of yourself
Just as long as you ain't hurtin nobody else
And doin' long and strong do whatever turns you on

Whatever turns you on
But remember you gotta take the responsibility for your own behavior
(Whatever turns you on)
You got to be nice sometimes too if it feels good do it