The king is now stepping out into the balcony
To the cheers of the crowd
He's wearing the royal cape and crown
And seems to be in good health
His mustache is in excellent condition this morning
Which of course is a good sign for an early spring
He's now getting ready to speak

— "My dear citizens"
— "Today is a great day for me, and therefore
Of course, for the whole kingdom"
— "I have the great privilege to announce
That the royal enema has been carried through
With success, and that My Majesty is no longer constipated"
— "Naturally, this is particularly good news
For the peasantry in our beautiful country
And we ought to expect excellent productivity out
In the fields"
— "Furthermore... "
— "I took a bath this morning. " The crowd cheers
— "The bath was warm, dignified
And reinvigorating. And I look forward
To see what the Royal Brewery will be able
To achieve with My Majesty's royal residue"
— "Very well, that was all for today"
— "Now, it's time for volleyball. Live well
My citizens. God save the king"