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    Fourteen years, thirty minutes
    Fifteen seconds I've held this grudge

    Eleven songs, four full journals
    Thoughts of punishment I've expended

    Not in contact, not a letter
    Such communication, telepathic
    You've been vilified
    Used as fodder
    You deserve a piece of every record

    But who's it hurting now?
    Who's the one that's stuck?
    Who's it torturing now
    With an antique knot in her stomach?

    I wanna be big and let go
    Of this grudge that's grown old
    All this time I've not known
    How to rest this bygone
    I wanna be soft and resolved
    Clean of slate and released
    I wanna forgive for the both of us

    Like an abandoned house
    Dusty covered, furniture still intact
    If I visit it now
    Will I simply re-live it
    Somehow gratuitous

    But who's still aching now?
    Who's tired of her own voice?
    Who is it weighing down
    With no gift from time of said healing

    I wanna be big and let go
    Of this grudge that's grown old
    All this time I've not known
    How to rest this bygone
    I wanna be soft and resolved
    Clean of slate and released
    I wanna forgive for the both of us

    Maybe as I cut the cord
    Veils will lift from my eyes
    Maybe as I lay this to rest
    Dead weight off my shoulders will rise

    Here I sit much determined
    Ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain
    How this has entertained validated
    And has served me greatly ever the victim

    But who's done whining now?
    Who's ready to put down
    This load I've carried longer than
    I had cared to remember

    I wanna be big and let go
    Of this grudge that's grown old
    For the life of me I've not known
    How to rest this bygone
    I wanna be soft and resolved
    Clean of slate and released
    I wanna forgive for the both of us.

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