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    He had what you might call a trivial occupation
    he cleaned the platforms of the local railway station
    with no romance in his life - sometimes he wished he had a wife

    He read the matrimonial advertising pages
    the cries for help from different people, different ages
    but they had nothing to say, at least not until the day,
    when something special he read, this is what it said

    If you dream, of the girl for you, then call us and get
    two for the price of one
    We're the answer, if you feel blue, so call us and get
    two for the price of one

    If you dream of the girl for you
    (If you are dreaming of someone who might be right for you)
    Then call us and get two for the price of one
    (Why don't you call us and you'll get two for the price of one)
    We're the answer if you feel blue
    (We may be the answers to your problem, a chance with the two)
    So call us and get two for the price of one
    (Why don't call us and you'll get two)

    He called the number and a voice said "Alice Whiting"
    the voice was husky and it sounded quite exciting
    he was amazed at his luck, the purest streak of gold he'd struck
    He said, I read your ad, it sounded rather thrilling
    I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling
    why don't we meet for a chat, the three of us in my flat
    I can't forget what I read
    this is what it said

    If you dream, of the girl for you, then call us and get
    two for the price of one
    We're the answer, if you feel blue, so call us and get
    two for the price of one

    If you dream of the girl for you
    (If you are dreaming of someone who might be right for you)
    Then call us and get two for the price of one
    (Why don't you call us and you'll get two for the price of one)
    We're the answer if you feel blue
    (We may be the answers to your problem, a chance with the two)
    So call us and get two for the price of one
    (Why don't call us and you'll get two)

    She said I'm sure we must be perfect for each other

    And if you doubt it, you'll be certain
    When you meet my mother"

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