Soon as you like, ladies and gentlemen
please take your seats
In a moment there'll be a test of your endurance
Stay in your chairs in the event of a dramatic pause
Please be aware nothing gets covered by insurance

One final thing
Please take the trouble to read through your notes
It's important that you know where you've got to go to
Wait a moment, maybe the usherette'll show you
Such excitement, these are the hoops
you've got to go through

The noises off that turn you on stage
whispered from the wings
A stifled cough, a joke that bombs
a smoldering fuse wire string
When mr. sands is in the house
the alarm bells start to ring

Everything's in code
In a world we barely know
And the truth is only slowly revealed

With best intentions i have strayed far off the beaten track
And of attention i displayed a quite spectacular lack
Now mr. sands is in the house
and the panic button's smacked

Well, mr. sands is in the house: commotion in the stalls
And, from the gods, unruly shouts that echo round the hall
Yes, someone's let the secret out
the safety curtain falls

And as i look across the stage the thought that first occurs
Is less that we have come of age
and more that we're preserved
To pass our time in different shades of ignorant reserve

Everything's in code
Till the moment it explodes
We suspend belief, get ready to go
For the playout of the show
Here it is for all we know
Mr sands is always ready to roll