[Spoken]
Greetings beotches.
Take off your pants.

I know a place where the girls are always meaner
If you ain't rich, they're goin' nowhere near your wiener

Sippin' Starbucks
Venti skinny mocha chai tea with foam
Drivin' escalades
While they're texting and re-tweeting on iPhones

You can try to approach us
But we're all the same we don't care what your name is
We'll look at you for a second
But that's just to make sure that you're not famous

California girls we're unreliable
Never worked a day in our lives
Hybrid dogs in bags we leave em' in the car
Owowowow

California girls we're so predictable
Hottest bodies money can buy
Spray tanned silicone boobs are indestuctable
Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing

Sign your name on the dotted line
Don't need brains if that ass is fine
Once you cross the L.A. Border
You develop an eating disorder
Sell your soul, dance on the pole
Bang Charlie Sheen just for a role
Nose jobs, tummy tucks
These are the girls I like to... hang out with

Inflate your lips.
Loose the hips
See through shirts show off your nips
Paparazzi is everywhere
Oops forgot your underwear
Katy my Lady, I'm all up onya
Cus you're representin' California
But you know I'd still be all up inya
Even if that ass was from Virginia

And you know that you can bet your butt
That I'd do girls from Connecticut
I could really fill my booty quota
By bangin' out ho's from Minnesota

California Girls we are so are desperate
Sold our souls for fortune and fame
Soon we'll look like Cher or Melanie Griffith
Oo ow ow ow argh

"California Gurls" is so repetitive
All Pop sounds exactly the same
It's the same beat from that other song that Kesha did
Ow ow ow ow