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How To Be Evil

Space Ghost


Ghost:
Ah, pardon me. Now it begins.
Who-all here is evil? Sound off!
Zorak:
I'm evil.
Brak:
I'm evil.
Zorak:
Oh, you are not!
Brak:
Oh, I am too!
Zorak:
You're as harmless as a baby's ... butt.
Ghost:
Zorak!
Zorak:
Well, he is!
Brak:
I'm not a baby's butt.
Ghost:
Brak, I'm going to have to go with Zorak on this one.
You simply don't have the mental capacity to be evil.
Zorak:
See?
Brak:
I don't git it.
Ghost:
You see, Brak, you have to be able to come up with, oh,
say, plots against the universe.
You have to hatch evil plans to conquer planets
and be just plain mean most of the time.
Zorak:
You're just too nice.
Brak:
I forget how to be mean. That radiation half lobotomized me.
Ghost:
Hey, I've got an idea. Let Zorak teach you how to be mean!
Zorak:
Aw, man! Do I hafta?
Ghost:
Yes, you hafta.
Zorak:
Okay, Brak. Repeat after me. Space Ghost-
Brak:
Space Ghost!
Zorak:
I will destroy you!
Brak:
I will destroy you, if you don't mind.
Zorak:
I - will - destroy you!
Brak:
No, I'm sorry, wait, I'll get it. I will destroy yooou!
Zorak:
I - WILL - DESTROY YOU!
Brak:
Awriiight! I will destroy you!
Zorak:
You and your little dog too!
Brak:
You and your little dog- hey! I like his dog!
Francine is a good puppy!
Zorak:
No! That was just a threat!
Brak:
You wanna hurt Francine! You're a big bad green, um,
thingie guy-
Ghost:
Bug.
Brak:
Bug! I don't want you to hurt Francine! Space Ghost,
shoot that thingie thing on your arm-
Ghost:
Destructo ray.
Zorak:
-destructo ray so he doesn't hurt Francine.
Ghost:
Gladly, Brak, my dear old chum.
(Space Ghost zaps Zorak)
Zorak:
(coughs) Hey! What'd you do that for?!
Ghost:
THAT WAS FOR FRANCINE!
Hey, wait, I don't have a dog.
Zorak:
Yeah, (coughs) tell me about it. (coughs)

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