Major Monogram: Perry the Platypus
Is a lovely shade of teal
From his duckbilled nose to his web-bed toes
And his nerves were made of steel

Carl: What does this have to do with Christmas?
Major Monogram:
Well, I'm... I'm just describing him
so that people have a mental picture.
It... it matches the original song

The night before Christmas
'Twas a crisis at the Pole
'Cause old Doofenshmirtz, he had done his worst
And a sleigh that day he stole

Doof took it on a joyride
Just as far as he was able
But Doof, that goof, he lost control
Ran into the reindeers' stable
Now all the reindeer
Were on crutches or in traction
So old Agent P, he knew that he
Must spring right into action

Look at that platypus, look at that platypus
Look at that platypus go
Look at that platypus, look at that platypus
Flying o'er the snow

Carl: "O'er, " sir?
Major Monogram: It's a contraction. It means "over. "
Carl: It's a bit archaic
Major Monogram: It's traditional, Carl. Get o'er it

So the reindeer were out of commission
And Santa's sleigh was trashed
I'd explain it more, but we've been there before
It doesn't need to be rehashed

Santa Claus was freaking out
Thought he'd have to scrap his run
He was torn inside, for without a ride
He knew Christmas Day was done

But then o'er the horizon
Came a light bright as a star
Cutting through the night was the two headlights
Of Perry's hovercar

Perry the Platypus
Had a mission at the Pole
If he could lend a hand in that frozen land
He'd help Santa reach his goal

There must have been some magic in
That platypus-themed hovercar
For when Santa saw the gas gauge
He knew it could take him far

Carl: Really, sir?
Major Monogram: They wanted this album yesterday, all right?