He's never caught one spy I'm told
He's never even caught a cold
Got his degree from Disneyland
He's the last of the secret agents
And he's my man

He's an underwhelming kind of sleuth
He thinks James Bond is some kind of suit
He's farther back than also ran
But he's the last of the secret agents
And he's my man

He'd come in third in a two-horse race
I've never had to slap his face
(What a shame)
Now people try to understand
He's the last of the secret agents
And he's my man

He's the last of the secret agents
And he's my man
He's the last of the secret agents