When you’re down on your luck
And you ain’t got a buck
In London, you’re a goner
even London Bridge
Has fallen down
And moved to Arizona
Now I know why

We’ll I'll substantiate the rumor
That the English sense of humor
Is drier than the Texas sands.
You can put up your Dukes
and you can bet your boots
I’ll be leavin’ here as fast as I can.

I wanna go home with the Armadillo
Country music from Amarillo and Abilene
The prettiest women and the friendliest people you ever seen.

Well, I decided that
I’d take my cowboy hat
And go down to the Marble Arch station
’Cause when a Texan fancies
that he'll take his chances
Chances will be taken,
That’s for sure.

And those Limey eyes
they were eyeing the prize
Some people call manly footwear
’Cause when you're from down South
When you open your mouth
You always seem to put your foot there.

I wanna go home with the Armadillo
Country music from Amarillo and Abilene
The friendliest people and the prettiest women you ever seen.

I wanna go home with the Armadillo
Country music from the Lone Star Café and Abilene
The prettiest women and the friendliest people I’ve ever seen.