Had a crush on Santa
Since I was 9 years old
But oh santa, why do you go?
Once a year you come visit me
Eat my cookies, leave presents
the same old routine
But now Santa, i want something...more
No presents are what this girls asking for
Santa sleep with me tonight

I read these words in her diary
An invasion of my girlfriend's privacy
I shouldn't have, but I'm glad I did
Wonder what does she see in him?
A big old tub of jelly with a double chin
He's older than my grandmother

Indeed this fetish is really bizarre
A sexual attraction for this holiday jar
I've got a plan that you wouldn't believe
But I've got to act fast

It's christmas eve (3x)
Santa's suit is what I will get
And give my girlfriend a night that she'll never forget
And neither will I
Went through my closet and found a red robe
Made a beard out of cotton and stuffed my shirt with pillows
And drove to my girl's house

I slipped down the chimney and to my dismay
Some Santa and my girl in red lingerie
And in between all the moans and groans
I heard her say:
Oh Santa
Oh Santa
She said Santa I missed you I love you
I wish you would stay home forever with me
Santa I knew you were coming to town,
But now you are coming with me

Santa!
Get off of my girlfriend
Get off of my girlfriend