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    Music by Elton John
    Lyrics by Tim Rice
    Elton's solo version is unreleased

    In life one has to face a huge assortment
    Of nauseating fads and good advice
    There's health and fitness, diet and deportment
    And other pointless forms of sacrifice

    Conversation, wit, I am a doubter
    Manners, charm, they're no way to impress
    So forget the inner me, observe the outer
    I am what I wear and how I dress


    Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
    Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
    Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh
    Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
    Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
    Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh


    Now I believe in looking like my time on earth is cooking
    Whether polka-dotted stripes or even checks
    With some glamour guaranteeing every fiber of my being
    Is displayed to quite remarkable effects
    From your cradle via trousseau to your death bed you're on view so
    Never compromise accept no substitute
    I would rather wear a barrel than conservative apparel
    A dress has always been my strongest suit


    Staying in or hitting townwards, from the top and working downwards
    I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time
    Whether wig or hat or turban, whether clad boudoir or urban
    Not to strut your stuff outrageously's a crime
    And the few who are invited to my wardrobe are delighted
    As they wander through my things to find en route
    That in negligee or formal I am anything but normal
    A dress has always been my strongest suit


    Now you don't need a recital of the reasons why its vital
    That tonight I simply have to look my best
    That from coronet to sandal no one else is worth a candle
    That I couldn't make more impact if I'm dressed
    So bring me out my finest, most audacious, my divinest
    Most revealing, most expensive and to boot
    Most arresting, most heart-stopping, most free-flowing, most eye-popping
    A dress has always been my strongest suit

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