VIII. Regret

Hello, mirror
So glad to see you my friend
It's been a while

Staring at the empty page before me
All the years of wreckage running through my head
Patterns of my life I thought adorned me
Revealing hurtful shame and deep lament

Overwhelming sorrow now absorbs me
As the pen begins to trace my darkest past
Signs throughout my life
that should have warned me
Of all the wrongs I've done for which I must repent

I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than I haven't
Sometimes you've got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And sometimes you've got to be strong
When you think it's too late

Staring at the finished page before me
All the damage now so clear and evident
Thinking about the dreaded task in store for me
A pit of fear at the thought of my amends

Hoping that the step will help restore me
To face my past and ask for forgiveness
Cleaning up my dirty side of this unswept street
Could this be the beginning of the end?

I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than haven't
Sometimes you've got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And just when you're through hanging on
You're saved.

IX. Restitution

[Quotes from other artists]

Corey Taylor - "Until that moment, I'd never felt like I'd failed at anything...And I felt like I failed her...And I failed myself, and I failed my children...It's still really hard to deal with."

Steve Vai - "I want to thank you for helping me to see my own selfishness and to tell you how regretful I am it has hurt you."

Chris Jericho - "I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital, Grandpa when you were on your deathbed. I'm sorry I didn't come to your funeral...I don't know if I was selfish or just too scared to face it. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life."

David Ellefson - "I'm here to confess with you that what I did, was wrong... And I'm asking for your forgiveness"

Steve Hogarth - "The only unforgivable thing hauls itself out of bed, looks over my shoulder at the bloody English weather..."

Joe Satriani - "I really regret not being able to see my friend Andy..."

Mikael Åkerfeldt - "One of my best friends who's the godfather of my daughter, he asked me to sing or play something at his wedding, and I turned it down because I was busy and too much of a chickenshit to do it...And I feel sorry for that, because it was a very very close friend of mine"

Steven Wilson - "So, I wanted to apologize to anyone that I've upset or offended.. they're just words, it's just an opinion, but unfortunately, I tend to express it as a fact, and that's kind of arrogant."

Jon Anderson - "I think it's the betrayal...it still haunts me."

Neal Morse - "I'm sorry for what I did back then... I was a different person. I really was and I'm so sorry. I wish it wouldn't have happened, but it did, and I'm sorry. Forgive me. I'm sorry..."

Daniel Gildenlöw - "I guess I'm simply sorry for being me just so awful to the people..."

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development
We will be amazed before we are half way through
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
No matter how far down the scale we have gone
We will see how our experience can benefit others
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear
We will lose interest in selfish things
And gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations
Which used to baffle us
We will suddenly realize that
God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves"

"Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled amongst us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."

"You're only as sick as your secrets
But the truth shall set you free
The truth is the truth
So all you can do is live with it"

[[by Kahzinha LaBrie]]