We are the gothic archies: death, tentacles and pip
Be sure to buy a record and don't forget to tip

The gothic archies are we, with whom you should not mess
The apogee and zenith of gothicarchieness

We are the gothic archies: death, tentacles and pip
Be sure to buy a t-shirt, and then you will be hip

Are the gothic archies we? oh, are we ever they!
In fact, it is a myst'ry how anyone could say

We're not the gothic archies (pip, tentacles, and death)
We love to kill such people by squeezing out their breath

Are we the gothic archies? be careful what you say
(you are the gothic archies, ta-ra-raboom-de-ray)

Oh, the archiesay othicgay hetay, areay eway)
Illiantbray yricistlay an'tcay ouyay eesay?

Tho gothic we are archie, tho archie we are goth
No satan-worshippers we, we worship yog-sothoth!