A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum

That Dirty Old Man

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum


[DOMINA]
For over thirty years
I've cried myself to sleep,
Assailed by doubts and fears
So great the gods themselves would weep.
The moment I am gone,
I wonder where he'll go.
In all your simple hon-
Esty, you can't begin to know.

Ohhhhh, ohhhhh, ahhhhh...

I want him,
I need him,
Where is he?
That dirty old man, he's here somewhere,
Cavorting with someone young and fair,
Disporting in every shameless whim.
Just wait till I get my hands on him!
I'll hold him,
Enfold him,
Where is he?
That dirty old man, where can he be,
Profaning my house for all to see,
Complaining that he's misunderstood,
Abusing me--if he only would!
Oh love, sweet love, why hide?
You vermin, you worm, you villain!
Confess and press your bride.
Wherever he is, I know he's still an
Angel,
My angel,
Where is he?
That dirty old man divine!
I loathe him,
I love him,
That lecherous, lewd, lacivious, loathsome, lying, lazy
Dirty old man of mine!

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